Tips on English Body Language

Mr. Garcia, a businessman from Madrid, Spain, is speaking English to one of his customers, Mr. Patton, from Vancouver, Canada. As they speak, a bystander notices that as Mr. Garcia slowly steps closer to Mr. Patton, the latter slowly steps away. This slow dance continues throughout the conversation until Mr. Patton is literally against the wall. He now crosses his arms in front of him. Mr. Patton appears nervous and a little annoyed; Mr. Garcia, aware of this, thinks he is not explaining himself well enough in English, even though Mr. Patton fully understands him. Thinking the business deal has gone sour, Mr. Garcia excuses himself and leaves.
　　What is going on here? If Mr. Garcia or any other non-native English speaking businessman, student, immigrant, or tourist had been aware of English body language, this unfortunate incident could have been avoided. Among English speakers, personal space is very important; indeed, personal space is important in all languages, but the distance considered critical to trigger discomfort differs. Spanish speakers tolerate a much closer speaking distance, a distance of some 30 centimeters, which is about half that which English speakers prefer. Thus, a Spanish speaker will instinctively move in closer to talk with an English speaker, who instinctively moves away, closer to his preferred speaking distance.
　　Body language is one kind of nonverbal communication, such as winking (to indicate "I'm kidding" or a sexual advance), or arms held akimbo (in some cultures, merely resting; in others, a threatening or defiant stance). This communication can, on occasion, be even more important than the actual words spoken.
　　Take winking for example. In most cases, English speakers will wink (the closing of only one eye) at each other to show that they are not serious about what they are saying. They may also cross their middle finger over their index finger to indicate the same thing. These gestures are extremely important as they virtually negate what the speaker says.
　　Another example is eye contact. In many American Indian and East Asian cultures, respect is shown by not looking directly into the eyes of a person considered of a higher social class than oneself. For Western Europeans, the opposite is true. For them, anything less than full eye contact is considered disrespectful or even devious. Problems have arisen when Chinese or Korean school children enter American or European schools. Western teachers assume that these children are "up to something" or that they are showing disrespect, when, in actuality, they are behaving correctly for their own culture. One Chinese child was denied entry into a gifted students' school because he was considered "lacking leadership qualities" despite his overall excellence in his academic and interpersonal relations. When it was pointed out that Chinese children are taught not to be aggressive (show leadership qualities), the school reconsidered and admitted the lad.
　　Sometimes gestures used in different languages have contrary meanings. This can produce a humorous effect. In Vietnam and China, the gesture for "come here" is quite similar to that of waving "good-bye" in English. Thus, when speakers of these two cultures are leaving each other, if the English speaker gestures "good-bye," the Far Eastern speaker may misinterpret the signal as meaning, "come back here."
　　Learning body gestures is rather difficult from textbooks. The best way to learn gestures —— for any language or culture —— is to stay a while in a foreign country to learn not only what people say but how they say it. For most people, the learning of body language is an exciting and charming aspect of learning a foreign language.

　　嘉西亚先生是来自西班牙马德里的一位生意人，他正以英语和一位来自加拿大温哥华的客户派顿先生交谈。当他们交谈时，一位旁观者注意到当嘉西亚先生慢慢向派顿先生靠近时，派顿先生就慢慢往后退。整个对话过程就像在跳慢舞似的一进一退，直到派顿先生几乎要靠到墙壁了。这时候他把双臂交叉在胸前。派顿先生显得紧张并有些恼怒。嘉西亚先生注意到这个现象，以为他的英语表达能力不够好，但其实派顿先生完全了解他所说的话。嘉西亚先生认为这笔交易已经告吹，于是便找个借口离开了。
　　这到底是怎么一回事？假如嘉西亚先生或任何一位非英语系国家的生意人、学生、移民或观光客曾经留意过英语肢体语言的话，上述的不幸事件就可以避免。个人空间对英语系人士而言非常重要；的确，个人空间对所有语言而言都很重要，但是被视为事关交谈时舒适与否的距离在各种语言中均有差异。西班牙语系人士与人所保持的距离比较近，大约为30厘米，这样的距离是英语系人士所能接受距离的二分之一。因此，西班牙语系的人在和英语系人士交谈时，会很自然地靠近对方，而后者会很自然地因为想保持他喜欢的交谈距离而后退。
　　肢体语言是一种非言辞的沟通方式，例如眨眼（以表示“只是在开玩笑”或者有性方面的暗示）或者两手叉腰（在某些文化里，它纯粹表示放轻松；而在某些文化里，它是一种威胁或挑衅的姿势）。这种沟通方式有时甚至比实际言语的沟通来得重要。
　　就拿眨眼来说，在大部分的情况下，英语系人士彼此眨眼（只闭一只眼）表示对正在交谈的内容不是很认真。他们也可能以中指交叉于食指之上的方式传达同样的意思。这些肢体动作极其重要，因为它们几乎否定掉说话者所说的话。
　　另一个例子是眼睛的接触。在许多美洲印地安文化与东亚文化里，不直视社会地位高于自己的人表示尊敬对方。对于西欧人士而言则恰好相反。对他们来说，如果不正视对方就会被视为不敬，甚至是不够坦诚。中国学童或是韩国学童进入美国或欧洲学校就读时，就曾经发生过问题。西方教师以为，这些孩童“在搞什么鬼”或者他们对老师不屑一顾，殊不知这些孩童是以自己的文化来表示对老师的尊敬。曾经有一位中国小孩被拒绝进入一所资优生学校就读，理由是该学童“缺乏领导才能”，尽管他学业成绩优异并且人际关系良好。后来经指出中国小孩被教导不可以太出锋头（展现领导才能），校方才重新考虑同意该童入学。
　　有些动作出现在不同的语系里便有完全相反的意义。这时候会产生很有趣的效果。在越南和中国，“过来”的手势与英语系人士表示“再见”的手势很类似。因此，当这两种文化的人彼此要道再见时，万一英语系人士以手势表示“再见”，那位远东人士很可能误解这个手势为“过来”之意。
　　从教科书上是很难学习到肢体语言的。最佳的学习方法是，不论学习任何一种语言或文化，最好是到当地呆一段时间，而且不只学习“说”该语言，更要知道他们是“如何表达”的。对大多数的人而言，学习肢体语言是外语学习中令人感到刺激且充满吸引力的部分。